Self Acceptance
Practicing
not hating yourself
The problem was never willpower.
It was the way you treat yourself.
Old hurt doesn't show up
in just one way
A part of you that wasn't fully accepted as a child doesn't disappear. It comes back in adulthood wearing a completely different face. The surface looks different, so it seems like a different problem each time.
Sometimes it shows up as eating
You eat when you're not hungry, and afterward you blame yourself.
Sometimes it shows up as spending
Whenever you feel empty, you buy something, and the emptiness is back the moment you close the checkout.
Sometimes it shows up as people-pleasing
You can't get the word "no" out, and at home you replay the scene over and over.
Sometimes it shows up as procrastination
The more you want to do it well, the harder it is to start, and then you hate yourself for not doing it.
Sometimes it shows up as perfectionism
Anything short of 100 feels like zero, so even your downtime never feels like rest.
Sometimes it's the same relationship on repeat
The person changes, but strangely, the way you get hurt stays exactly the same.
This is why the harder you try to fix the behavior on the surface,
the more stuck you get.
So we change the order
Instead of fixing the behavior first, we care for the part of you that drove it. Here is that approach in five steps.
Step 1Awareness
Put a name to what is happening inside you right now.
Step 2Looking
No judging, no pushing it away. Just look.
Step 3Beliefs
Check whether the things you've always taken as true are actually true.
Step 4Rebuilding
Set new standards for yourself in a way that doesn't tear you down.
Step 5Acceptance
Treat yourself as someone to care for, not something to fix.
Founder
I was there too
For a long time I thought I was the problem. Weak willpower, lazy, not tough enough. So I pushed myself harder, and the harder I pushed, the more I fell apart.
Things turned around when I stopped trying to fix myself. Once I started looking at why I hated myself so much, and where that came from, other parts of my life began to loosen up too.
Today I walk that road alongside people who are where I once was. I've lived it, so I know which part is the loneliest.
How things changed
Words left by people who read the e-books or worked with Goeun in 1:1 consulting.
Some reviews were written after the reviewer received a benefit, such as a pass to Goeun's 1:1 feedback board. The changes people describe vary from person to person, and the same results are not guaranteed.
“Before, I was disgusted with myself for making my own life so hard. After reading this book, I just felt sorry for her. I want to comfort myself and give myself a hug. I looked back at myself a lot while reading.”
Tting**E-book
“No one in my life had ever understood my feelings this deeply or told me 'that's understandable,' so I'd always looked away and denied them on my own. Facing them and admitting them, my heart feels a little lighter.”
Seo**1:1 consulting
“Forgiveness was something I did for myself. I knew that, so why was it so hard? Now I feel compassion, like 'you've been through so much too.' I honestly feel free.”
Noh**1:1 consulting
“It amazes me and I'm grateful that I get to live each day like this. Not much has changed on the outside, but my heart changed, and my whole reality feels different. I'm going to keep going slowly, enjoying it, without rushing.”
Ko**1:1 consulting
“Even with my family around, I felt so lonely and hurt. I even thought I'd be better off alone. But now it feels like someone is on my side, and that warms my heart and gives me strength.”
Baek**1:1 consulting
“It's not perfect, but I'm having new experiences that are clearly different from before, and calmer. Sometimes just knowing there's one person out there helps.”
Yoo**1:1 consulting
Where are you right now?
We've laid out where to start. If you're not ready yet, it's fine to just read and go.
I want to look around slowly
Read what we've written about the heart. It costs nothing.
Go to the posts →I'm struggling with food
A book written for people who have been soothing their feelings with food. This takes you to a paid product page.
See details →The stories and content here are not a substitute for medical care or treatment. The changes described in reviews vary from person to person and do not guarantee the same results. If things are hard enough to disrupt your daily life, please also consult a medical professional.